I've been missing for quite sometime, I know. Due to the fact that, my life is not stable as yet. It ain't getting better, but I just hope things would be better. My eyes are already soggy, due to too much crying. My mind is driving slow, where I'll be deep in my thoughts and not realising people around are actually talking to me. I'm deadbeat, yet I pushing myself. I cried like a mad woman yesterday, in front of Bestie. Its because I can't hold it anymore, living my life with my parents. For once, I really felt that I wanna give my life, by suicide. &I still remember clearly when Bestie said. 'That's so stupid'. Its just three words, but it meant alot, as I think back its obviously not worth it. Anaaablur kept saying over and times, dying will not solve anything. I bet she got really tired telling that to my brain. I almost killed myself, due unconsciousness out the sudden. &at one point of time I will cry, the next thing I'll get angry, and felt like throwing whatever that's on my hand and spout nonsense. I can't control my emotions, but I'm trying my best to control tho'. To add on, parents and myself have been living in different world. I will coop myself in my room most of the times now. I don't think you readers need to know in depth, just my closed ones knew. Its too much for me to think, and to bare all these shitxz. Cause its been a hectic and hurtful week for myself. I need to breathe once again.

I love my job so much, that eventhough its almost three months I've been working there. I pretty much met all those adorable people, and nice managers. I had so much fun everytime I had my shifts on, working with every adorable people eventho' I work only once twice a week due to cutting down of labour cost. But, its hard for me to let go when mum decided, asking me to quit my job, for some reason which apparently is my fault. I stayed calmed until she finished her sentence, I went to my room and couldn't stop tearing uptil now. I just hope she would take back her words. If not, I left a week more.

Mmm whatever happens in life, there's always reasons behind it and somehow reflect back what we've done that make people give such remark to us. Quoted by Bestie and Soulmate. I'll keep that in mind forever. Thanks alot.

I miss Iskandar Ram'dhan. I bet he's enjoyin every minute of his life, from his almost everyday posts I've read.
eh pakcik, aku rindu kau laaa deng. kau da lupa aku kannnnnnn. -___-, lol.